Ain’t it amazing what you see on social media? There are bargains to be had if you know where to look.
For instance, I saw this notice from a guy in Aberdeen a couple of days ago. It said: “For sale – six trampolines, 21 fence panels, 42 roof tiles and half a shed. Going cheap. New stock arriving every few minutes.”
I know Storm Arwen was a horrific event for those who faced the brunt of it. Over here in the calmer Hebrides, I slept as it whooshed through. I wasn’t being dozy because I had a good reason for staying prone in bed for a while – but that’s enough about me for now. Let’s talk about something else.
For the first time in years, because I’ve been at home, I saw bits of I’m a Celebrity. Being laid up, I saw snippets of it in the Welsh castle. It’s getting very boring now and predictable – even the shows that aren’t live, because of the damage caused by Storm Arwen, and which were recorded years ago.
It doesn’t work without the green, green grass of Aussie, so namby-pamby celebrities threaten to quit for little or no reason. It’s too far to stomp home in the huff from the Australian jungle.
Richard Madeley quit for what were apparently proper reasons. Then I saw him back on the telly on Monday where he told us he was “blabbering” and “talking nonsense” just before he quit the show. Listen Rich – can I call you Rich? – you got that wrong. You have been blabbering and talking nonsense to make yourself seem important for decades. It’s what you do, now that Judy isn’t with you to give you her famed withering looks.
Some serious symptoms
On the subject of withering, did I mention I’ve been ill? First symptoms, the weekend before last, were the headaches. Soon afterwards, I was a sniffling mess with nausea and a high temperature. I blamed my condition on scoffing a packet of fish I found at the back of the fridge. I thought stinky haddock had put me out of sorts. All sorts of things went through my mind. Did it whiff? Did I check the sell-by date? Maybe no, maybe yes.
Then cold shivers began that two woolly jumpers and a duffle coat couldn’t cure. That was early in the week, so Storm Arwen was then just a wee puff.
Ominously, I couldn’t even smell a pot of bubbling chicken madras. Serious symptoms need an up-yer-hooter test. Not believing it, when the kindly Covid person phoned back and said: “I’m so sorry, it’s positive”, I just felt dizzy. Dizziness is another symptom, by the way.
Mrs X, the lady of the house, actually succumbed first and was in great pain. Much better now, her self-isolation period was up late last night. So I’m sending her out to work today, of course. I shall remain in cosy confinement, just in case. Seriously, the islands’ NHS Covid team very accurately tracked the infection times and they decided who can venture out and when. Thank you, guys.
Please get triple jabbed
It’s not very fair, though, that Mrs X has to go out and work while I must still stay indoors. I’ll send her a wee text to lift her spirits and let her know I am missing her. What will I write? I know: “I’m so miserable without you that it’s almost like you’re still here.” There, that’ll cheer her up.
Don’t you be miserable either, dear reader. Please get triple jabbed, if you can. I probably wouldn’t be here otherwise. We were so lucky compared to some. And don’t listen to the dimwit deniers of the virus and vaccines. Although we know Covid-19 is spread mostly through the mouth and nose, many scientists think the greatest risk comes from people who speak from another part of their anatomy.
I welcome latest JCVI advice. Had helpful discussion with Health Ministers across UK & respective CMOs.
ScotGovt will seek to operationalise this advice as soon as we possibly can.
If you're 40-59 please use the portal to book your Booster vaccine:https://t.co/UBlYrAKfyV https://t.co/l1hHTdOynL
— Humza Yousaf (@HumzaYousaf) November 29, 2021
Now, because of what happened, I’m even more obsessed by sell-by dates. We must check the dates on all kinds of products. Food past its date can make you very sick. The upside is that almost expired products are often sold at a discount, just to shift them quickly. There are bargains to be had.
In Tesco a couple of weeks ago, I said to the checkout assistant: “Can’t you do this any cheaper? It’s actually got today’s date on it.” Her eyes narrowed and she said: “Look, Mr Maciver. Do you want to buy that Press & Journal or not?”
