About 20 years ago, a couple from Ayrshire were celebrating the birth of their baby.
They decided to mark the occasion with their favourite tipple, a Macallan malt whisky. As they sipped, an idea came to them. Why not name the babby Macallan? What a wonderful idea, darling.
Let’s register it tomorrow. Now, let’s have an early night. Amazingly, it still seemed like a good idea the following day. So, Macallan Paterson was duly registered.
The story does not end there, because Macallan’s distillery, over in Craigellachie, heard about it. They were so chuffed that the name they were so proud of was also on someone’s birth certificate, they made a pledge. They laid down a whole case of Macallan, six bottles, to be handed to Mr Macallan Paterson when he reached the age of 18. His birthday was two years ago but, because of lockdown, he couldn’t go to collect it.
He has since done just that. However, Macallan – the lad, not the distillery – is now confused. They told him each bottle is now worth at least £350. What would you do? Decisions, decisions. Flog it or swig it?
How to keep warm with the heating off
The rest of us will be swigging tea as we huddle in the cold. If you are in Aberdeen or the north-east, you probably don’t realise it because it is always so cold over there. We get the rain, but you get the chills. Maybe you jump up and down and shout at the top of your heads to keep warm? It’s not me saying that.
Pop star George Ezra, who performed at P&J Live on Sunday, said that, after a roar that could probably be heard in Norway. George said it was fair to say they were the loudest crowd he’d had on his tour.
Very cold weather with energy prices going through the roof is challenging. Here in the blasted Hebrides, we have had to turn off the hot water. Not permanently, you understand. It is now on manual and not the timer, so we don’t heat it if we do not need it.
Being a geek, I have worked out that we are using about half the number of units we used last year, but it will still cost us a lot more than it did then. That is insane.
Hey, Mrs X, order my bodywarmer with sleeves. What do you mean that’s a jacket? Oh, I suppose it is
So, we are now wrapping up in jumpers and pullovers. Mrs X says she is getting a onesie. I wonder if you can get a twosie so we could both snuggle in it together? You can get anything on the net. Oops, she is muttering something which sounds very like: “Do not even think about it.”
Mrs X thinks we should get bodywarmers. They do what it says on the tin. The only problem with them is they leave your arms very cold. I don’t want cold arms. Hey, Mrs X, order my bodywarmer with sleeves. What do you mean that’s a jacket? Oh, I suppose it is.
Sci-fi in Stornoway
I don’t know what types of jackets will be seen at OH!CON, the first ever comic-con in the Outer Hebrides. Comic-cons are conventions where people can meet and discuss comic books, particularly superheroes, including ones that make the leap to TV or film. In fact, it is all lighthearted sci-fi.
It takes place in Stornoway Town Hall on October 29. Remember, it is pretty much for self-confessed geeks and nerds. Yep, I think I will go.
On October 27, in the library, there will be a showing of TEDS. That is a cosy acronym for the low-budget but creepy The Earth Dies Screaming. It is no Star Wars flick with amazing special effects. I saw it a month ago on one of those repeats TV channels.
Featuring forerunners of Dr Who’s metallic Cybermen, these are just actors in tin foil, raising their hands and converting any humans they encounter into glassy-eyed zombies. If you want to know how the numbskulls who claim we are being controlled from 5G towers got their ideas, it’s a must-see.
Write to me – but no complaints
Remember, too, you must post. With the ascendance of King Charles to the throne, there are a few subtle name changes and picture changes going on in the monarchy. Did you know that you can no longer use stamps with the Queen’s head on them after next January?
You will have to use them up, or they will be worthless. You could write to me. As long as it is not a complaint about cold Aberdonians not noticing the chilly weather, I will be very pleased to hear from you.
Talking of Star Wars, is there any truth in the rumour that the Royal Mail could have to change its name? If they make it the Charles III Post Office, that will be C3PO.
Iain Maciver is a former broadcaster and news reporter from the Outer Hebrides
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