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Iain Maciver: Does Humza have bigger fish to fry than small businesses?

Small businesses are the backbone of this country so will Humza Yousaf live up to his promises, asks Iain Maciver.

Humza Yousaf speaks to the media after being voted the new First Minister at the Scottish Parliament. Image: Jane Barlow/PA
Humza Yousaf speaks to the media after being voted the new First Minister at the Scottish Parliament. Image: Jane Barlow/PA

Some people say that switching to British Summer Time is a great idea. I am not so sure. I give it six months.

Moving the time around also can make things difficult for businesses here and abroad.

Small businesses are the backbone of this country. They are vital though few become big businesses because most owners of small-scale shops, guest houses, grasscutters, opticians and fishing boats are not interested in becoming entrepreneurs but just keeping themselves and their families in a decent lifestyle. That’s it.

Politically, teeny wee businesses are important. Every politician nowadays promises to support small businesses in oh so many ways. When elected though, few do very much for them. The number of small business failures in the last few years is shocking.

Growing up, there was a small business just a few doors away from us in Great Bernera. That small business propped up the community. John Murdo Macdonald, known as Murdo, had taken over the wee shop at the end of the road in Tobson from his father before him. You could buy anything you can imagine in there and if it wasn’t stocked, he could get it on his weekly trips in the mobile shop all the way to Stornoway to stock up.

Small businesses are backbone of our country

He didn’t have hot takeaways, though. In those days, there was one kind – a chippy. If you didn’t like fish you had a battered Lorne sausage or black pudding instead. One of us younger lads asked if he could get us fish suppers. That put Murdo in a quandary.

They’d be cold by the time the deep-fried delicacy had been in the van for an hour and a half rumbling over narrow single-track roads for nearly 30 miles. So, for a trial run, someone fixed a tin box in the engine compartment of Murdo’s van to keep the heat in the haddock.

The much-travelled meal was hotter but I can still smell that unique salt and diesel combination with a hint of smouldering exhaust fumes which lingered in my nostrils for weeks afterwards. I think that charred tin box was ripped out soon afterwards.

Like the heart was ripped out of Ash Regan on Monday when she realised she was not going to be First Minister of what may become KSIROI. That, of course, is the Kingdom of Scotland and all her Islands including Rockall and all her Offshore Installations. What do you mean we will be a republic? RSIROI? Nah. Are you really saying Andy Murray cannot be king? Huh, I can’t believe that.

Losing to Humza Yousaf had to sting

Nor could I believe what happened after the announcement of the winner. Humza turned to Kate Forbes, who was very smiley, and they hugged, close and proper – and not in a distant Free Church way. As they squeezed, a camera caught Ash Regan looking like she’d sat on a clump of jaggy nettles.

Hugging over, Humza turned to Ash and they just shook hands like he was meeting her for the first time. “Hi, I’m Humza. Have you come far today?” I imagined him saying.

Listen, Ash. You can forget that cabinet post unless, of course, you’re willing to take a poisoned chalice – like being minister for ferries, for example. No one else wants that one.

Humza has promised to exempt small businesses or at least pause the dreaded Deposit Return Scheme for them. That scheme seems likely to take up a lot of businesses’ time and expense so many do feel it could be a threat. But did Humza only do that because Katag Forbes was already on it? He starts work properly today so small businesses will soon see how decent he is going to be to them.

Will Donald Trump be back at work?

Whether Donald Trump will be at work today remains to be seen. With all his hot air last week about him being about to be arrested, nothing has actually happened. He is now spouting that charges against him have been dropped but he has come out with so much nonsense before that no one can be sure of anything. For all we know, his dealings with Ms Daniels may yet become very stormy indeed.

For small businesses, storming to success is always about finance. That’s always the obstacle to starting up. Did you hear about the wee Scottish Terrier which went into a bank and asked the teller, Ms Patty Black, if he’s eligible for a small business loan.

“Er, do you have any collateral?” Patty asks. “I have this,” replies the dog, pulling out of his bag a small porcelain figurine.

“I’m not sure if we can accept this,” she says. “Let me ask my manager.”

Patty calls the boss over and explains the situation. The manager nods and says: “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the dog a loan.”


Iain Maciver is a former broadcaster and news reporter from the Outer Hebrides

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