Suzie McAllister is a teacher who lives near Fort William, she lost her husband to cancer last year, two months after she and Colin were married.
Colin had always been very fit and healthy and we enjoyed walking together.
He was only 56, but had been complaining of indigestion which was found to be two tumours in November 2022. It was originally thought this had been caught early enough and the doctors believed it would be a simple surgery, but this optimism turned out to be very misplaced.
In the space of a month, the cancer spread to his stomach and the lining of his stomach and, last January, Colin was given six months to live. He wanted to spend this time at home and he did so and I was his primary carer.
The nurses were great and he was on a syringe driver, but it just wasn’t relieving Colin’s pain. He also wasn’t able to eat or drink and rapidly lost weight.
We looked into Dignitas, but it was too expensive, and Colin also talked about buying poison so that he could end the suffering.
I didn’t know about Dying in Dignity movement before Colin passed in April. He had asked me to help him take his own life, but when all other legal options were exhausted, he asked me to start a petition to enable mentally competent individuals to take the decision to take their own lives.
The bill can’t come soon enough
It was only after his passing that I looked into it and found out more about Dignity in Dying and learned that they were working with Liam McArthur to bring in new legislation in the Scottish Parliament.
As far as I’m concerned, it can’t come soon enough and I fully support the bill. We choose the way that we want to live. Why can’t we choose how we want to die? It’s personal. Nothing to do with anyone else.
It’s not just a case of the individual who is dying. Its those who care for them: Col’s suffering ended, but mine was only just beginning. I will never forget the things I saw and what we went through. That will live with me for the rest of my life.
Until you’ve been through a journey like that yourself, nobody can say what’s right or wrong. I already know that if I am ever ill and I have no quality of life, I will be checking out in my own way.
Let’s just pray that this bill gets passed and it becomes legal.
- Read more: Ani George from North Uist tells us why she is backing the assisted dying bill
