I don’t know why the DUP and ERG need so much time to understand the Windsor Framework – it’s not like it’s the instructions for the three-bin collection system being rolled out across Aberdeenshire.
The agreement on the Northern Ireland Protocol sounds only marginally more complex and nowhere near as controversial the council’s plan for our rubbish.
Sure, there are details to pore over and questions to be asked – such as where the heck am I supposed to put a third bin and what am I meant to do with the empty soya milk cartons?
Brexit proposal
Rishi Sunak’s Brexit proposal has a two-colour coding system with a green lane for goods staying in Northern Ireland and a red lane for goods destined for Ireland and the EU.
Aberdeenshire’s bins will operate on a four-colour coding system, with black lids, blue lids, orange lids and the wee green caddies which will be collected on a three-week rotation and an area sequence yet to be finalised.
There is concern that the changes will be confusing for some residents while whistle-blowing bin crew members told The P&J they feared plans to only collect non-recyclable waste every three weeks will be an “absolute disaster”.
Speaking of absolute disasters, Matt Hancock reportedly called the teaching unions “a bunch of a****” and said of the police: “The plod got their marching orders,” in a series of leaked texts.
The former health secretary had shared his WhatsApp messages with freelance journalist Isabel Oakeshott when she was ghost-writing his memoirs.
In a spooky coincidence, she handed the messages to The Telegraph, having pulled almost exactly the same stunt with emails belonging to Brexit campaigner Arron Banks.
Perhaps Mr Hancock will attempt to repair his reputation by applying for another reality TV series.
If he’s interested, the BBC is casting people to stay at Ardross Castle in Ross-shire for a new series of The Traitors.
Season 1 was viewed 34 million times on iPlayer and it is hoped its popularity will boost tourism in the area.
Council cutbacks
Warnings that tourists would choose the central belt over the north and north-east led to funding for Visit Aberdeenshire being spared but the entire region saw cutbacks as councils struggle to balance their budgets.
Highland agreed a council tax rise of 4% and £22m of cuts, including to early years groups and arts, culture, sports, music and community organisations.
In Aberdeen, pools, gyms and libraries face closure, school meals will go up and council tax will rise 5%.
However £15,000 has been set aside to mark the Coronation and another £15,000 to cover Freedom of the City celebrations for Aberdeen FC.
Strained relations
This will likely be cold comfort to King Charles who has enough on his plate with Harry and Meghan and will they attend the coronation or won’t they?
The latter looked increasingly likely this week after the couple were asked to vacate their UK home Frogmore Cottage near Windsor Castle, a gift to them from the late Queen.
Apparently Prince Andrew is judged a much more suitable tenant, which shows just how far the Sussexes have fallen out of favour.
As royal relationships became ever more frosty, so did international relations at the G20 summit in Delhi where exchanges over the war in Ukraine overshadowed talks.
It meant there was no joint statement as many delegates had hoped there would be discussion about other issues including climate change, debt and food and energy security.
India’s foreign minister S Jaishankar said: “We tried, but the gap between the countries was too much.”
In Aberdeenshire a schoolgirl helped close the gap between nations after her message in a bottle travelled 440 miles to Scandinavia.
Six-year-old Sienna Roy threw the bottle into the sea at Aberdour last June and it was found by a grandmother walking her dog on a beach in Denmark.
During an hour-long video call organised by The P&J, pensioner Elsebeth and Sienna swapped stories about their homes and hobbies.
Having bridged a generation gap and a geographical divide, the two have promised to keep the lines of communication open.
Perhaps the new-found friends should have a word with the royal family and the G20 delegates.
Conversation