You hope, you dream and you never really think it will happen and then it does – the chance to go disco dancing in the daytime.
And I don’t just mean when a good song comes on in Asda and you find yourself alone in the baking aisle.
I like to think I’ve given the folk monitoring the security camera a laugh when I’ve broken out my moves next to the fondant icing.
I can just imagine the chat in the control room:
“Here, John, there’s an incident in aisle 26.”
“What? Someone nicking cake sprinkles again?”
“Nah, just some wifie thinks she’s Janet Jackson.”
Disco Days to offer ‘afternoon club experience’
News that Aura in Aberdeen is to host an “afternoon club experience” for over-30s has come just in time for me because there’s probably a limit on how many kids’ discos I can crash before I’m disowned.
I got away with it in the early years, just a bit of bopping at the back of the hall while a bunch of tots played musical chairs to One-Direction.
Now they are tweenagers they can’t take the embarrassment of a mum hijacking the dancefloor after ‘accidentally’ turning up early to collect them from a party.
At a Christmas disco one Saturday afternoon last year they seemed too engrossed in their phones to notice me doing all the actions to Shotgun by George Ezra around my Primark shopping bags.
But once I started pestering the DJ for a bit of Earth, Wind & Fire it was game over.
I was banished to a table with some other mums who hadn’t even dared to take their coats off and were holding their handbags and car keys as if to say: “Don’t worry, I’m not stopping, let alone joining in.”
They had to make do with tapping their feet and vaguely singing along to some absolute tunes after being informed by their offspring that their dancing days are over.
Disco Days gets a surprising response
But no more! Woo hoo! Disco Days will be an actual grown-up disco, that is actually for people like me, and I’ll be at the front of the queue.
That in itself will be an experience. I’ve never seen a bouncer in the daylight and what if they turn me away for not having the right shoes?
I’m telling you now, I’ll be mortified. I can just see it. Everyone staring as I’m forced to walk back past the line, pretending I’d got the wrong place and was in fact looking for Café Boheme to meet a friend. For coffee.
Because that’s what we seem to do after we’ve hit a certain age and I’m not entirely sure when I agreed to that.
I do like coffee shops but never have I ever had as much fun in a coffee shop as I have in a disco, plus they look at you funny if you’re wearing glitter gel.
Tony Cochrane, owner of Aura on Bridge Place, said that since announcing the Disco Days events he has been “blown away” by the response, especially from women.
No kidding? You may end up wondering what you’ve unleashed Tony, so brace yourself.
He added: “After speaking to people, we realised at a certain age people don’t want to be out until 3am and they want to get back at a reasonable time.”
The Disco Days events will run between 2.30pm and 7.30pm so none of that traipsing around in the cold and dark, getting blisters in your high heels looking for a taxi.
I’ll probably just walk back to my car and pop into Iceland on the way home. It’s a win-win really.
The excitement continues with the Belmont Cinema architect revealing that the new venue will be inspired by “Hollywood’s Golden Age”.
It’s like they read my mind. How glorious does that sound?
Now on weekends if I’m not out disco dancing I’ll be watching the films I love in a groovy new venue, hot dog and popcorn at the ready.
Architect Richard Tinto hopes the design will remind people of a time when “everyone went to the cinema” and by the look of the plans, everyone will want to go to this cinema.
Sure beats the baking aisle in Asda anyway.