The latest topical insights from Aberdeen musical sketch comedy team, The Flying Pigs, written by Andrew Brebner and Simon Fogiel.
Tanya Souter, lifestyle correspondent
I da ken about youse, but I wiz raging aboot the mannie on the train tae Dundee fa wiz reported tae police cos he wiz dressed up as a kilted Stormtrooper fae Star Wars wi’ a plastic laser-blaster.
At’s jist unasseptable harassment, at’. He wiz only haein a bit o’ fun. Plus, he wiz in costume on the wye tae a comic book convention in Dundee, fit is reason enough tae let him on his wye, and quick, I’d hiv thocht.
I da ken fit the officers wiz worried aboot. Even in the filums, ab’dy kens Stormtroopers couldnae hit a barn door wi’ a banjo. But this peer cosplayer hid tae be questioned by the police cos someb’dy fae reported him hid clearly niver seen Star Wars. The jammy beggar.
‘At is amazing, though, cos I thought Star Wars wiz something fit ab’dy hid tae ging through, like rubella. My youngest, Jayden, went through a massive phase, but thankfully he didnae go near ony Stormtrooper costumes or plastic guns. He wiz mair keen on lightsaber battles, fit is how my kitchen disnae hae strip lighting onymair.
But fit amazes me is, someb’dy actually did “see it, say it, sorted“! I da ken aboot youse, but faniver I hear ‘at annooncement asking ye tae say if something “disnae look right”, I hiv tae hud masel back fae shouting “that top wi those troosers!”
So, it’s jist as well I dinna ging on trains much onymair. I dinna agree wi the ticket prices. And I’m nae comfortable in ony enclosed space far an alcohol ban is in force.
But there’s ayewiz some busybody, is there? Like yon time 15 o’ us got telt aff for passing an inflatable mannie aboot in the quiet coach fan we wiz aff tae Big Sonya’s hen night in Montrose. We wisnae hairming naeb’dy and, at least on that occasion, the police didnae come near us. Weel, they wiz feart, wis they?
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